This where we used to live

~Barenaked Ladies (Old Apartment)

Awoken at 4:31am Sunday morning by the fire blazing inside the dumpster across from my apartment (and the firetruck about 10 yards from my window), I layed back on my pillow and thought...I can't wait to move to Bend. Waking up twice to fires, once to a bum urinating in my alley and countless times to profanity being shouted by passersby, I'm ready to not live in apartment #205.

Now, granted, I was the one who told everyone how neat Eugene is before I moved. I'm not recanting that statement, but coupled with having about 5 friends and living in the middle of downtown, I'm getting tired of being alone and I'm ready for something new (after 5 months...ha!).

That said, I've compiled a list of things to look for in your upcoming apartment hunt, should you find yourself there.

1) Look for an apartment building not manufactured in 1927. Sure, everyone thinks old is "cute"...until they live there.
2) Similarly, look for an apartment new enough that there are double-paned windows and screens so that you don't freeze to death in the winter and get all sorts of dirt on your floors from the neighboring gravel parking lot when your windows are open.
3) Find a place NOT on an alley in a semi-shady area of the downtown district (especially when bums run rampant in your city). This could lead to all sorts of bathroom, drinking, ranting and tagging sounds at all hours of the day and night.
4) When looking at neighborhoods, try NOT to choose an area directly in between the hospital and the firestation, both being 2 blocks from you.
5) Find a place with a bathtub that drains and a toilet that is far enough from the tub that you don't have to sit side-saddle to sling a deuce.
6) Non-creaking and somewhat insulated hardwood floors would be a plus.
7) Electrical outlets in the bathroom could be handy at times.
8) Being within eyeshot of the chain-smoking "hairdressers" and skater teeny-boppers in the parking lot isn't the best.
9) More than 2 square feet of counter space might be useful.
10) Don't live on "High Street". You'll hear no end of it from your family.
11) Find a landlord that doesn't strip you of everything but your milk money for rent, and then stab you repeatdely in the ribs when you break the lease early.

Not exhaustive, but a good start for you, I'd say. In a related story, I think I just found a roommate in Bend on craigslist today! She sounds great, and the place is a sweet duplex very close to my job...so far, so good. More to come...

your palms are sweaty and i'm barely listening

~The Postal Service ("The District Sleeps Alone Tonight")

There's nothing like a good ass-kicking by three tiny, perky aerobics instructors to make you re-evaluate your level of fitness. This week was fitness week at U of O, and in addition to my Friday racquetball date with my friend Bevin, she made me do the pushup challenge and the free "stretch and flex" aerobics class.

We started with pushups in the weight room, in front of many boys who are much stronger than me. The previous day's winner for modified pushups (I know, I'm lame) had done 24. Psh, I can beat that by a LONG shot, I thought. 33 pushups later my arms were shaking around like the torso of an overweight belly dancer. Bevin did 50....and she's been sick. Racquetball was fun, but the whole time, there was this dark cloud of doubt over me...am I going to eat shit at this aerobics class and look like a complete imbecile?

The first of the 2o minute segments was okay for me. Lunges, balance work (which I'm much better at now that I do Tai Chi, I must say) and some others to beef up my already disproportionate Klug thunder thighs. Ah, but the second girl must have seen me and whispered to her fellow instructors: amazon girl in the back? I'm going to break her....real good.

Most of the stuff we did I'd seen before in my exponentially increasing workout video library. Mostly pilates moves, but the pace and intensity was a bit faster. Of course, my arms are still feeling the pain from the little contest earlier in the afternoon, which didn't help. My abs were feeling it, but I was holding serve until....dun dun dun...the isometric work. I'm always amazed that holding still is so much harder than doing situps or lunges or cardio. Ever heard of the plank? You basically hold yourself still in a pushup-mode, except your elbows are on the ground. I do this from time to time, but the instructor had us do this once, let us rest, and then killed me by making us lift one leg up at a time. Ouch. Okay, too many details. But, by this time, I'm completely sweated through my shirt, dripping from the forehead, and of course slipping around on my mat like a grape evading chopsticks, which made staying still very difficult.

Thank God for the stretch lady...that I can do. Overall, a fun workout extravaganza, but sheesh! I thought I was in pretty good shape and could hold my own in pilates-type classes. Nice try. I guess almost 4 solid years of working out doesn't mean you can do every move anyone throws at you the first time. In fact, I bet there are a ton of performance athletes that would suffer at the hands of many a pilates instructor. It really reinforced to me also that exercising with others is not only more fun, but is much more motivating. It's even strangely fun to listen to all the disco/techno remixes of popular Maroon 5, Ricky Martin and 98 degrees songs pumped up and sped up to keep with the pace of the class. Classic line of the day: "it hurts so good" (my brother says that too).

I think I may start doing pushups every night so that I never embarrass myself that badly again.