All Delighted People Raise Their Hands!

~Sufjan Stevens (All delighted people)

This year has been, unsurprisingly, a whirlwind. So much so that it’s difficult for me to quickly pinpoint the highs and lows. Amidst worldwide turmoil and tragedy, it always feels a little narcissistic to look back and evaluate our years with a giant, broad-sweeping thumb-up or thumb-down as if a year can be reduced to that. Did we have success? What does that even mean? Did we love, laugh and have adventure? Did we learn new things? Did we take care of ourselves? Did we waste too much time on the computer? I always end up feeling I could have done better in every category, which is probably normal, and, though I eschew New Year’s Resolutions (because even the best laid plans for me are difficult to follow through with when the rubber meets the road), it is fun to think about general goals and dream about the year to come. As a teacher, it seems more natural to do this in August than December, but c’est la vie.

This year began with barista-me cursing every rich non-tipper in an outdoor stand at a mall (in the winter) and ended with me a full-time, salaried and benefitted high school teacher in one of the best first teaching jobs I could have asked for. Along the road there was a brutal, but valuable, four months of student teaching to finish my second master’s degree, a month-long jury duty service during my summer “break”, two outstanding and unique weddings of two dear cousins in opposite corners of the US (and five other awesome weddings), four trips to Portland (which restored my sanity) and lots and lots of grading and planning and teaching. There were definite joys and deep pains, as we all experience in our years, but, compared to the train-wreck that was 2009, this past year can be credited with Katie getting her groove back, which is probably the best gift of all.

As is customary, I bought a LOT of music this year. A lot. Sometimes it’s easier to reflect upon and remember my year through the music that was most dear to me, and this year is no exception. Every year, I hear about music through different avenues. In 2006, for example, a road trip to Ashland, Oregon with the illustrious Kellie and Kristin introduced me to The Flaming Lips and Sufjan Stevens, and 2008, the year I worked as camp grandmother with a bunch of youngins, I heard Bon Iver and Beirut for the first time. La Blogotheque and random whims at the library were my main sources for new tunes in 2009, and this year was the year of experimentation with $5 downloadable albums on Amazon (mostly successfully) and KEXP songs of the day.

Small, yet fun and significant, memories come flooding back to me when I remember patronizing the Hawthorne Fred Meyer in Portland this summer with the amazing Katie V to buy the new Arcade Fire album and then listening to it all the way back home and all the way to Kansas City to visit my friend Adam the next week. Or, the time Max played Local Natives for me while we worked behind the coffee bar at a live music show at QCafe. During a hot summer day’s lunch break from jury duty, I ran into Mt St Helens Vietnam Band (hailing from my college) across the street at city hall performing, and I even (sortof) met the lead singer of the National at my cousin’s wedding in Massachusetts this July and proceeded to fall in love with their new album (and the Bloodbuzz Ohio music video that was shot in part by cousin). Phantogram, Caribou and Gorillaz were some of my main choices for “pump-up” music on the dark, cold, dismal fall mornings as I drove to work at 6:30am wondering if I could muster any enthusiasm for the day. Perhaps the highlight of my music year was having my mind blown at the Sufjan Stevens concert in October with my high school buddy Kelly. Too much awesome to describe. Sufjan was a staple of the end of my undergrad years and it was a definite bucket list experience to see him live. So, I suppose, when viewed through the lens of my music purchases, this year sounds better than I remembered at first blush! Below is the list of this year’s purchases (with special * for the ones I highly recommend):
________________________________________

Neutral Milk Hotel – In the Aeroplane over the Sea
Foals – Antidotes *, Total Life Forever
Beach House – Teen Dream *
Neon Indian – Psychic Chasms
Phoenix – Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix
National – High Violet *
Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros – Self-titled
Sufjan Stevens – The Age of Adz, All Delighted People EP *
Belle & Sebastian – If You’re Feeling Sinister
David Grey - Foundling
Mt St Helens Vietnam Band – Self-titled, Where Messengers Meet
Caribou – Swim *
Menomena – Mines
Phantogram – Eyelid Movies
Ray LaMontagne – Til the Sun Turns Black
Arcade Fire – The Suburbs *
Bon Iver – Blood Bank
The Smiths – The Sound of the Smiths
Camera Obscura – Underachievers Please Try Harder, Let’s Get Out of This Country
the dodos – Visiter *
Gorillaz – Plastic Beach
Broken Bells - Self-titled
Local Natives – Gorilla Manor
Yeasayer – Odd Blood
Grizzly Bear – Veckatimest *
Vampire Weekend – Contra
500 Days of Summer Soundtrack
_________________________________________

Narcissism fin.

I wish you a happy, healthy, meaningful and adventurous year filled with learning, growing and standing up for what you believe in! Happy 2011.

turn your frown into a smile, come and listen for a while

~ Jim Noir

Mary Oliver's poems just may save my sanity: beautiful, serene and poignant.

Recently, in the overwhelming profession I now am a part of, I get down...really down. They say teaching gives you the highest highs and lowest lows, but the highs are worth it. So far, I agree, but my perfectionism coupled with living in the suburbs away from friends and any semblance of social life has a tendency to make things look a little bleak. But, it's okay. I will keep calm and carry on, as the famous WWII poster from the UK says.

Wild Geese by Mary Oliver

You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting -
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.

i got gloss on my lips, a man on my hips

Though I saw this last month, I thought I would share one of the funnier moments I've seen on TV in a while (truly, endearingly cute, not funny in the sad/pathetic manner, which has become endemic...but, darnit, I just had to watch the finale of the Bachelorette):

The setting: Kids Jeopardy (probably 10-13 years old)
The question: (I'm paraphrasing) "This extremely popular pop singer says 'If you like it,' then you should do this.
The answer from a young, african-american tweener (who went on to dominate and win): "What is put a ring on it, Alex?"

If you're going to San Francisco, be sure to wear some fiber optics in your hair

This weekend, I had the pleasure of traveling to the Bay area for the wedding of my cousin and her awesome husband! They are such a rad, unique couple, and their wedding weekend evinced that. Because the are loved by many throughout the country, I got to meet some really neat folks: a judge, an arialist, several scientists, a child abuse prosecuter, the Wyoming Superintendant of Public Education, and many more!

The weekend boasted hanging out at their new house on the roofdeck for an awesome BBQ, sunburns, plenty of sun for my gray Seattle-soul, getting wildly confused by driving around the Bay area, a drive to Stanford for family reminiscing time, and, most importantly, one of the most fun wedding evenings I have had the pleasure of taking part in.

One of my cousins made my cousin's dress - themed after some chick in Legend of the Seeker - and it was amazing. She also bought fiber optic hair clips, which added generously to the splendor. The best part was that the bride (being the brilliant physicist that she is), sewed LEDs into her dress with conducting thread (my nerdy-soul sings!) for that extra oomf. Unfortunately, right before the ceremony, one row of the lights shorted out, prompting a delayed ceremony and the mother of the bride (my aunt) getting my nod for quote of the night:

"She's got a short circuit. She has to be the only bride in history to be delayed by electronics!"

And thus began a great night. The groom told the story of how they met (10 years ago) and highlighted milestones from their relationship with stories and readings read by friends. Very nice touch. After vows and signing the marriage license, it was time to party.

And party we did. Cocktail hour, then a brilliant dinner with homemade wine made by my uncle, a little red velvet cake and then it was time for dancing. I absolutely love to dance (whether alcohol is involved or not), and I find weddings to be the best sketch-free opportunity to be silly and have fun with family and friends. At this point, people's inhibitions were pretty low, and we had a great time. My cousins who refuse to dance, my brother and sister-in-law and my PARENTS all made cameo appearances on the dance floor - amazing! A couple of my cousins were particularly intoxicated, which made the evening that much more entertaining and memorable.

All in all, a fantastic time of hilarity, family, celebration and love. From time to time, I find myself naysaying marriage and life-partnership, but on a day like yesterday, one can find no fault in it.

say my name, say my name

Klugosaur
Klugotron
Freddy Klugger
Ms. Awesome
Ms. K
Mrs. KLLOOOOOOOG (one student yells this in a high pitch whenever he sees me...today, he followed this up with a handshake)

My students have all sorts of fun names for me. Of course, being called "Mrs." is annoying, but other than that, I love what they've come up with. Oh, the creativity.

I'm going to miss these kids so much.

are you not the same as you used to be?

I'm currently in the final sprint of my student teaching experience and, thus, I have been very absent from this blog (I have four others, you see), but will make a triumphant return and update the blogosphere about the hardest experience of my life to date quite soon!

In the meantime, while juggling my internship, I've had some interesting experiences relationship-wise (or lack thereof, as it were), and this, one of my favorites by Beach House, has been rattling around in my mind. Enjoy, and perhaps I'll be less cryptic next time.

Used to Be
Beach House

"You are coming home, are you still alone, are you not the same as you used to be?
As the sun grows high and you serve your time, does each day just feel like another lie?
Now you know, is it just for show, just a foolish game that you hide behind?
Don't forget the nights when it all felt right, are you not the same as you used to be?
Used to be

In an endless night, could you feel the fright of an age that was and could never be?
So we hold it close when we feel the most like a love that we could not leave behind
Turn the wheel to each way we feel til I'm lost and I cannot find you there
Don't forget the nights when it all felt right, are you not the same as you used to be?
Used to be

Coming home any day now"

See them perform it live on La Blogotheque, my source for all things new music:

When you kill it is justice

You set yourself above
That all forgiving god
You claim that you believe in
Your kind is gonna fall
Your ship is sinking fast
And all your able men are leaving

Only someone
Who's morally
Superior can possibly
And honestly deserve
To rule my world

I talk before I think
You shoot before you know
Who's in your line of fire
So somehow we're the same
We're causing people pain
But I stand and take the blame
You scramble to the night

Only someone
Who's morally
Superior can possibly
And honestly deserve
Only someone
Who's morally
Superior can possibly
And honestly deserve

To rule my world

Explain me one more time
When they kill it's a crime
When you kill it is justice

~Kings of Convenience (Rule My World)

It takes a lot of nerve to destroy this wondrous earth

~Bowerbirds (In Our Talons)

In class today (oh yeah, by the way, I started student teaching 2 weeks ago! I'm keeping an anonymous blog detailing my experiences, so give me a shout if you'd like the url...), my mentor teacher tried to make acid/base equilibrium more tangible by relating it to acid rain and smog. Possibly something that should have been happening while teaching concepts the students were constantly wondering why they needed to learn, but interesting nonetheless.

While we were talking about the significant impact of the pH lowering of the ocean from 8.1 to 8.2 (a big deal, by the way) because of acid rain, the topic of crustacean shell dissolution arose. If you're not a chemist, you may not know that sea shells (crab, mussel, etc) are made of calcium carbonate (just like Tums), so act as a "base" to neutralize the acid rain that falls in the ocean...current end result = thinner shells, future end result = no tasty shrimps. So, just like everything in environmental chemistry, it's a HUGE ISSUE and steps must be taken to SLOW the damage (you cannot reverse it), but because it isn't life-threatening to us, we get complacent...especially the politicians who have to think about money too.

I could go on and on and on. Such important stuff.

Anyhow, the back-row crew in 3rd period (some of my favorite students...the witty, silly boys that are really capable but just need a little direction and a little less socializing) started discussing vegetarians on the topic of losing our pals in the oceans:

J: "No MEAT?! I love meat. I don't understand how ANYONE could be a vegetarian." (at which point I started paying attention for fun)
K: "Yeah, seriously."
J: "I mean, really. C'mon. I couldn't live!"
Me: (catching J's eye and pointing to myself and mouthing "I am")
J: "YOU ARE?! ... Guys, Ms Klug's a vegetarian!"
A: "No WAY! Klugster?! That surprises me."

Klugster. I love my students. Of course, I was outed as a pescatarian (while I was teaching the final period of the day so my mentor teacher could get some stuff done) when I said, "no shrimp would be so sad...they're so tasty."

I've noticed a few things already (that I sort of already knew, but I'm being reminded of more now that I'm in this weird limbo between grad school and actually having my own classroom): 1) I get along with/teach/relate to the boys way better than the girls and that's not a good thing, 2) I can't shove my ethics of environmental stewardship (or any other thing I'm passionate about) down these kids' throats. I mean, I can try to be a positive influence in this area, but ultimately these kids have to be convicted themselves, be that in my class or afterwards. I have to remember that I was a crazy conservative in high school and kids need time to think through what they "believe" as they grow up and mature.

I was even more convinced that my lack of land-animal eating is the right move when I researched today and found that each cow in the world releases roughly the same amount of greenhouse gases (through belching and farting) daily as the average car! Did you know methane is about 23% times more harmful of a greenhouse gas than CO2 (a main gas given off from our cars)?! Also, a funny but interesting fact: in 2003, New Zealand tried to implement a "flatulence tax," but it didn't go through. I love it.

Enough about gas...

I want to live where soul meets body

~Death Cab for Cutie ("Soul Meets Body")

"It's amazing how we think technology is so amazing, but we don't realize our bodies are even more complex," exclaimed my friend as we left the BODIES exhibit this afternoon.

For two hours, my two friends and I were astonished by the intricasies, sizes, shapes and functions of the human body. In some ways, I wish there had been more (the display in Seattle currently is a smaller collection than was here a few years ago, I think), but, as it was, I learned and saw an amazing amount. Of course, my friends would tell you I was more interested in how the human bodies were preserved than how they really function, but hey, I'm a polymer chemist! Though, I have to admit my favorite part of the display was seeing the central/peripheral nervous system nerves fibers that are usually housed within the spinal column - they look like a bunch of tiny ropes that are encased to make one big rope. So cool!

I realized a few things about myself and life while I was there and as I reflected on what I saw as I rode the bus home.

1. I will definitely donate my body to science when I die (I mean, the thought of your body being sawed into cross sections and cast in a polymer is awesome, right?)
2. I don't remember anything from middle/high-school biology classes regarding anatomy and it's really embarrassing. REALLY.
3. The female reproductive organs are TINY.
4. I spend way too much time worrying about the machinery (i.e. my appearance and fitness) and far too little time pondering how I may use myself for the good of others (and then acting on it, of course).
5. We are all so similar at the most fundamental levels. Beauty has nothing to do with one's bone structure, hairlessness, perfect skin or weight. (Not that I didn't know this already, but it's always such a good reminder to look past the packaging.)

These last two years have been rough in many ways, but I'm so ready to move beyond the focus (whether negative or positive) on myself and finally take part in the service I feel I was created for. It's been a long road, but student teaching starts in one week, so I'm slowly getting there. I'm nervous, but I've got a sense that I will be okay even though I'm fully aware I will make embarrassing mistakes, have bad days and be humbled to my core. Knowing that there is a purpose to life is simultaneously the most comforting and scary reality imaginable.

If anything, that's what I was truly led to today; our bodies are so fascinating, intricate, detailed and awe-inspiring, it's hard to believe that there is no reason we are on this earth. May we use every day we have to encourage, love, give, build others up, learn and enjoy the heck out of what we've been given!

I'm on a relatively new quest to learn something new everyday (which I may start to post here...maybe), and today certainly did not disappoint. I leave you with a few interesting facts:
1. Every drop of blood in your body passes through your heart every 60 seconds.
2. Your small intestine is 9 ft long.
3. You have over 100,000 miles of blood vessels in your body.
4. Scientists don't know why people yawn.
5. At 9 weeks, an embryo is about the size of a quarter; at 20 weeks, it's big mango-ish sized (my analogies based on what I saw).
6. You have huge, thin tendons covering your abdominal, back and outer thighs.
7. Embalming fluid has wintergreen essential oil in it (to mask the smell).
8. Babies leave behind some of their cells in the mother when they are born, which apparently gives the mother some health advantages for up to 10 years (further proof that gestation = aliens).
9. Your butt muscles are the biggest ones in your body.
10. Babies are born with 300 bones; Adults only have 209 (still trying to work that one out in my head).
11. Your skin cells replace themselves every month; your bone cells are replaced every three years!

And we’re dancing, early hours drunken days finally ended, and the streets turn for pillowcase

~Animal Collective "In the flowers"

Today has been a day full of intense and varied emotion. I'm not sure why I feel compelled to write tonight when I have so many other important and heavy things to get out on "paper" that have been rattling around in my brain this last month, but, hey, it's my blog. Here it comes.

A beautiful, cold, winter day in Seattle began earlier than normal as fog and the rising sun greeted me on my way to work. Moments later, I was on my way to Seattle to care for the fantastic feline and feeling surprisingly contented. While trying to take care of some important homework (and more important emails), the cat attempted to outcompete my laptop for the prime position. He lingered there for a while, snuggling with me as if I was his best friend. I am terrible with animals, yet this little bugger sat on me and made me feel strangely special for a few moments. Then he went to lay in the sun while cleaning himself and farting all at the same time - a talented one! Excitement came quickly upon receiving a text message from a great friend whom I've lost touch with recently asking for my address for his impending nuptials! What a blessed time of life to be able to celebrate such joys with friends and family.

After a disappointing mini-lesson in class, I sought solace in the gym, where I saw several former students, some former classmates and chatted with a current peer. I love chance meetings and conversations in random places (picture me in an old gym with maybe one other girl and about 20 dudes, all trying to bulk up and one-up each other - this is why I take my glasses off) and memories that there are people in my life who I have impacted, can still impact and can learn much from. My male classmate and I sat on neighboring weight machines and discussed society's role in gender stereotyping and negative body image. I'm sure the beefcakes all around us thought it a strange venue for such a topic. As I exited the gym, I found a message from my sister telling me that the church she (and my brother) are in the throes of planting was given the green-light, even in the midst of an unfortunate stance recently taken by the denomination on sexual orientation. Leah said it best in her text: "God is good!!!" I am ecstatic to join a new church community where all are truly welcome and affirmed; where community and service are actions and life-trajectories, not merely theory.

Feeling some clarity and appreciating the effect of the endorphins, I returned to the feline and my temporary home to pour a glass of Riesling and relax. Imagine my surprise when I found pictures online of my good friend and her brand new baby born today - a week early! I was barely holding back tears as I saw an amazing photographic progression from the door of their home in Panama this morning to the hospital for the birth, the tears and the sheer joy. Birth, while something I feel no desire to experience, is inexplicably incredible even from the onlooker's point of view. The transformation of body, relationship and life is something I'll never quite understand. Powerful, indeed.

Beauty, celebration, humility, joy, excitement, peace and acceptance. What a day.