If you're going to San Francisco, be sure to wear some fiber optics in your hair

This weekend, I had the pleasure of traveling to the Bay area for the wedding of my cousin and her awesome husband! They are such a rad, unique couple, and their wedding weekend evinced that. Because the are loved by many throughout the country, I got to meet some really neat folks: a judge, an arialist, several scientists, a child abuse prosecuter, the Wyoming Superintendant of Public Education, and many more!

The weekend boasted hanging out at their new house on the roofdeck for an awesome BBQ, sunburns, plenty of sun for my gray Seattle-soul, getting wildly confused by driving around the Bay area, a drive to Stanford for family reminiscing time, and, most importantly, one of the most fun wedding evenings I have had the pleasure of taking part in.

One of my cousins made my cousin's dress - themed after some chick in Legend of the Seeker - and it was amazing. She also bought fiber optic hair clips, which added generously to the splendor. The best part was that the bride (being the brilliant physicist that she is), sewed LEDs into her dress with conducting thread (my nerdy-soul sings!) for that extra oomf. Unfortunately, right before the ceremony, one row of the lights shorted out, prompting a delayed ceremony and the mother of the bride (my aunt) getting my nod for quote of the night:

"She's got a short circuit. She has to be the only bride in history to be delayed by electronics!"

And thus began a great night. The groom told the story of how they met (10 years ago) and highlighted milestones from their relationship with stories and readings read by friends. Very nice touch. After vows and signing the marriage license, it was time to party.

And party we did. Cocktail hour, then a brilliant dinner with homemade wine made by my uncle, a little red velvet cake and then it was time for dancing. I absolutely love to dance (whether alcohol is involved or not), and I find weddings to be the best sketch-free opportunity to be silly and have fun with family and friends. At this point, people's inhibitions were pretty low, and we had a great time. My cousins who refuse to dance, my brother and sister-in-law and my PARENTS all made cameo appearances on the dance floor - amazing! A couple of my cousins were particularly intoxicated, which made the evening that much more entertaining and memorable.

All in all, a fantastic time of hilarity, family, celebration and love. From time to time, I find myself naysaying marriage and life-partnership, but on a day like yesterday, one can find no fault in it.

are you not the same as you used to be?

I'm currently in the final sprint of my student teaching experience and, thus, I have been very absent from this blog (I have four others, you see), but will make a triumphant return and update the blogosphere about the hardest experience of my life to date quite soon!

In the meantime, while juggling my internship, I've had some interesting experiences relationship-wise (or lack thereof, as it were), and this, one of my favorites by Beach House, has been rattling around in my mind. Enjoy, and perhaps I'll be less cryptic next time.

Used to Be
Beach House

"You are coming home, are you still alone, are you not the same as you used to be?
As the sun grows high and you serve your time, does each day just feel like another lie?
Now you know, is it just for show, just a foolish game that you hide behind?
Don't forget the nights when it all felt right, are you not the same as you used to be?
Used to be

In an endless night, could you feel the fright of an age that was and could never be?
So we hold it close when we feel the most like a love that we could not leave behind
Turn the wheel to each way we feel til I'm lost and I cannot find you there
Don't forget the nights when it all felt right, are you not the same as you used to be?
Used to be

Coming home any day now"

See them perform it live on La Blogotheque, my source for all things new music:

I want a girl who uses a machete to cut through red tape

~Cake ("short skirt long jacket")

So often as a girl in the Christian church, you get told "you should be a Proverbs 31 kind of woman when you grow up." THEN a man will want you. THEN you'll be worthy. To be honest, if the Proverbs 31 woman was real, she was a pretty outstanding human being: serving family, the poor, the needy, working diligently, evincing her strength, intelligence and ingenuity daily through her actions and words.

But, does this passage do damage? Maybe not to some. Yet, to a little girl growing up moritified that her future was predestined to be filled with marriage, babies, submission and house cleaning - for that is the only useful and intended employment of the woman - this passage induced even more anxiety for me. I'm not perfect. Never have been. I argue, I change my mind a lot, I have my lazy moments, I have big dreams, I'm hairy and tall, I don't think I want kids, I like to cook and clean sometimes but certainly not daily: who's going to love that?

Books like the ever-frustrating "Lady in Waiting" told me that I had to become the princess worthy of the prince of my dreams. Worthy. There's that pesky word again. Are these books meant to make the (Christian) woman feel so crappy about herself that she seeks a man to save her from her agony and self-doubt who leads, controls and aligns with other traditional male gender roles so she can pump out babies and casseroles while never having an original opinion again because her prince of a husband takes care of the thinking and decision making for her?

I come across as a raging bitch here, when I am not intending to. I have numerous friends whose marriages are pretty darn traditional and they're happy and fulfilled. It works for some, but not all, and that's my point. If there's anything I've learned in my 20s, it's that everyone is an individual and I'm done putting people in a box (or allowing myself to be placed in one). These past few years have been unbelievably difficult yet freeing, painful yet abounding in joy, for I have confronted almost everything I used to believe through the lens of the Lord's heart for peace, justice, mercy and love. A lot of things have changed because of that, including my views and desires concerning marriage, gender and the future. It's worth the wait to find someone who jives with the person you are and want to continue to become on your life-long journey. Maybe I'll never find him, and that's okay. Forget this crap about losing hope of finding a spouse past 30 or about not being able to truly live life to its fullest as a single person. That's malarky (yes, I just said malarky) and I pray you don't buy into it. And, may I remind all of us; no one is perfect or worthy.

These thoughts were randomly conjured up in my mind tonight as Cake's ever-catchy and strange song played on my drive home from school. I was laughing, thinking, were they paraphrasing Proverbs here?

"I want a girl who gets up early,

I want a girl who stays up late.

I want a girl with uninterrupted prosperity

who uses a machete to cut through red tape.

With fingernails that shine like justice

and a voice that is dark like tinted glass.

She is fast, and thorough and sharp as a tac,

she is touring the facility and picking up slac.

I want a girl with a short skirt and a long jacket."

Boy, would I like to know what justice shines like. I think I like this image infinitely more than Proverbs 31 - this girl has some serious edge, knows success, fights for justice and speaks her mind. At least that's what I get out of it.

Here's to having standards and not settling, knowing and loving yourself, becoming a better person for the sake of the world - not just your imagined future spouse - and moving forward with LIFE, passion and calling no matter what season you find yourself in.