~The wonderful lyrical stylings of Mr. Jens Lekman
I've been mute for a while. Things have been happening, but busyness has trumped blogging. Here are a few random selections from the past month:
1) I just drove my sister and brother to the airport so they can enjoy a week in sunny Hawaii. It's March, snowing and freezing in Seattle. Where am I going for my well-deserved spring break? DC. So much for lounging on the beach :)
2) When discussing my non-existent love life and possible interest in a certain boy with my good friend Amanda a couple of weeks ago, I was surprised to hear "it sounds like you should probably just kiss him, Katie." Hmm...not exactly my style. But, seeing that my style has never produced anything but diminished self esteem and bad memories, maybe it's worth a shot!
3) I ran into a random youth group kid from yester-year while in the grocery store last week. He told me what he has been up to: biking. And then proceeded to lift a pantleg to further make his point by showing me his "mean calves" and bike socks. Nice.
4) The moustache has made a return to Seattle, and I'm just now jumping on that band wagon. I mean, of course, not personally, but my brother's interest the past few years in "expressing himself" through unique and sometimes shocking facial hair at winter's end resulted in a long handlebar moustache last week. This prompted a good ol' nostalgic perusing of the family photos to a time before I was on the scene: a very jovial, little curly haired boy named Alan, a knockout with long brown hair, and dad, with his curly semi-fro and amazing 'stache! Seriously folks, this was a masterpiece, and it only took me 24 years to realize it. Photo to come.
5) Teaching, of course, has been up and down, but mostly up. I still love it, but I'm ready for a break. Makes me wonder how long I'll be teaching at the high school level. I've learned how to deal with staying up late or getting up early to plan lectures, answering 20 emails at 1am before a homework assignment is due, not being very confident that I'll teach something well, worrying that I have massive pit stains when I teach, the extreme backlash (from under AND upperclassmen) when papers or tests are handed back, and, perhaps to a certain extent, even the tears. One thing I still can't bring myself to deal with is students who say things such as:
"You know, I DO have other classes too." (Yes, thanks, I'm fully aware of that)
"It's not like you're a bad teacher, it's me." (Yeah, that's not what I was thinking)
"I just wanted you to see my schedule for the next two quarters. If I don't pass this class I'll be a beggar on the street." (!!!!!!)
"What are my chances of getting an A? Could you estimate this on a 4.0 scale?" (No, actually, I can't)
6) We had Bowling with the Professors a couple of Fridays back, which was quite fun. It was great to have a couple of my students come along and chat with them about things other than science...which ended in one of my girls confessing a crush on one of my other students... I bowled a 160 or something like that. It would have been much higher, but I seem to have a propensity for gutter-balling directly after a strike. My thumb was sore the next day.
7) I bought my ticket for Day 1 of the Sasquatch festival (May 23rd) last weekend. DeVotchKa, Bon Iver, The Decemberists, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Animal Collective, and many other bands that sound legit...who are these "Kings of Leon" guys? Oh well, I'm sure they'll be a better headliner than NIN or Ben Harper. I just can't believe I didn't go last year...
8) When researching my probable Basal Metabolic Rate (BSR) on Friday, I was informed by mypyramid.gov that I am "overweight and should probably try to lose some weight." No kidding. It's not enough to think self-deprecating thoughts daily when I look in the mirror or remember how 3/4 of my clothes don't fit me anymore, now I have to hear it from my computer too! Fun. Interestingly, my weight and height apparently dictate I can eat close to 2500 calories a day and maintain my current weight...not so sure about that. BUT, I did my dad's profile to see if the human trash-compactor was justified in his insane eating habits, and turns out he probably burns between 4500 and 5000 calories a day. WHAT THE HELL?
9) I am so ready for freedom. Or Europe. How about both?
10) This just in: three more gen chem lectures this quarter. The final is almost written, and the other classes are winding down. The light at the end of the tunnel is becoming more intense. First, I have some mean papers to write for my classes....
2.22.2009
when the sky turns black, and we know it will from time to time, we've been through that, and we came out on top
~Ivan & Alyosha (Easy to Love)
Last night, as I was finishing up writing the second (hopefully slightly less difficult!) midterm for my general chemistry course and pondering how my students will fare on it, I found this email in my inbox from a student who has only spoken to me once:
Whenever I start to feel like I confuse my whole class of 56 students and they must hate the subject matter, I get a glimmer of hope from a simple email or comment that lets me know all has not been in vain. I suppose it just goes to show that all students learn and express their learning in different ways. Though I hardly know this student, they are enjoying the class! It has been my experience this quarter that I mostly only hear from the students who are not enjoying or are frustrated because they are not "getting it," but there are others in that sea of fun faces.
We'll see how they feel after the test tomorrow. I'm expecting a huge improvement, though...
Last night, as I was finishing up writing the second (hopefully slightly less difficult!) midterm for my general chemistry course and pondering how my students will fare on it, I found this email in my inbox from a student who has only spoken to me once:
"Prof Klug,
Hey I just wanted to e-mail you and let you know that I
really appreciate your class this term! This is my second time taking Chem 1211
and I'm understanding it much much better this quarter! So yeah I just wanted to
shoot you an e-mail letting you know that. Thanks for your
awesomeness.
Love,
(a student)"
Whenever I start to feel like I confuse my whole class of 56 students and they must hate the subject matter, I get a glimmer of hope from a simple email or comment that lets me know all has not been in vain. I suppose it just goes to show that all students learn and express their learning in different ways. Though I hardly know this student, they are enjoying the class! It has been my experience this quarter that I mostly only hear from the students who are not enjoying or are frustrated because they are not "getting it," but there are others in that sea of fun faces.
We'll see how they feel after the test tomorrow. I'm expecting a huge improvement, though...
2.19.2009
this is all that i can say right now. i know it's not much.
~David Crowder Band ("All I Can Say")
It's hard to know what will happen day-to-day in the sometimes routine events of my life. It's even harder to realize that I'm not at the center of the universe.
Late to work on Wednesday, thinking if I hit all of the lights from Bellevue to Fremont perfectly I'd make it to my General Chemistry lecture just in time, I had a sinking feeling that I'd be late as I crossed the 520 bridge in haste.
10:54am: I turn left to cross the Fremont bridge and the cars suddenly stopped in unison. "Oh crap, what a perfectly horrific time for the bridge to go up," I thought. But when the bridge didn't go up, I noticed that a couple trucks had their four-way flashers on, so I figured a car was stalled. Little did I know that seconds before I got my green light, a terrible crash had taken place.
10:58am: Sitting in a row of cars, I call into work to ask someone to tell my class I would be 15-20 minutes late. "I can't believe this, what an inconvenience." A fire-truck arrives on the scene and then I see it: a paramedic giving someone CPR on the sidewalk. My heart sank: I have been well trained in CPR and first aid. I should have been out there.
I pulled a U-turn and made it over a different bridge...my students were all there waiting for me even though I was 20 minutes late while news helicopters hovered over the area and sirens continued to scream, but that image haunted me all day and is still fresh in my mind now; especially since I just saw the above article which says that the lady who was receiving CPR died later in the day.
Christine Duffy; wife, friend, mother of twin 5-year old boys. Gone in an instant. Christine, I'm so very sorry I didn't do anything, and though I can't play the "shoulda coulda woulda" game, I am truly ashamed that if nothing else, I considered my lateness more of a concern than your life.
______________________________________________________
I'm reminded of something Shane Claiborne said at Quest this fall:
"Lord, forgive me for thinking too highly of myself,
Lord, forgive me for thinking too lowly of myself,
Lord, forgive me for thinking about myself too much."
May we live each day loving, caring, and humbling ourselves so that others may always be our priority. Never waste a moment. Do all you can to help people. Tell them how you feel and start doing what you were meant to do on this earth.
It's hard to know what will happen day-to-day in the sometimes routine events of my life. It's even harder to realize that I'm not at the center of the universe.
Late to work on Wednesday, thinking if I hit all of the lights from Bellevue to Fremont perfectly I'd make it to my General Chemistry lecture just in time, I had a sinking feeling that I'd be late as I crossed the 520 bridge in haste.
10:54am: I turn left to cross the Fremont bridge and the cars suddenly stopped in unison. "Oh crap, what a perfectly horrific time for the bridge to go up," I thought. But when the bridge didn't go up, I noticed that a couple trucks had their four-way flashers on, so I figured a car was stalled. Little did I know that seconds before I got my green light, a terrible crash had taken place.
10:58am: Sitting in a row of cars, I call into work to ask someone to tell my class I would be 15-20 minutes late. "I can't believe this, what an inconvenience." A fire-truck arrives on the scene and then I see it: a paramedic giving someone CPR on the sidewalk. My heart sank: I have been well trained in CPR and first aid. I should have been out there.
I pulled a U-turn and made it over a different bridge...my students were all there waiting for me even though I was 20 minutes late while news helicopters hovered over the area and sirens continued to scream, but that image haunted me all day and is still fresh in my mind now; especially since I just saw the above article which says that the lady who was receiving CPR died later in the day.
Christine Duffy; wife, friend, mother of twin 5-year old boys. Gone in an instant. Christine, I'm so very sorry I didn't do anything, and though I can't play the "shoulda coulda woulda" game, I am truly ashamed that if nothing else, I considered my lateness more of a concern than your life.
______________________________________________________
I'm reminded of something Shane Claiborne said at Quest this fall:
"Lord, forgive me for thinking too highly of myself,
Lord, forgive me for thinking too lowly of myself,
Lord, forgive me for thinking about myself too much."
May we live each day loving, caring, and humbling ourselves so that others may always be our priority. Never waste a moment. Do all you can to help people. Tell them how you feel and start doing what you were meant to do on this earth.
2.01.2009
Doritos 2, Everyone Else 0
Doritos has done it two years in a row!
Last year, the mouse tackling the man eating Doritos almost made me wet myself.
Today, in the midst of hundreds of other terribly boring commercials, my pick was definitely this one.
In other news, for the first time in my life (other than three years ago when the Seahawks were in it), the Super Bowl was actually a very exciting and enjoyable game! Go figure...
Last year, the mouse tackling the man eating Doritos almost made me wet myself.
Today, in the midst of hundreds of other terribly boring commercials, my pick was definitely this one.
In other news, for the first time in my life (other than three years ago when the Seahawks were in it), the Super Bowl was actually a very exciting and enjoyable game! Go figure...
1.28.2009
good news for people who love bad news
~Modest Mouse
Allow me to set the scene for you:
An entire weekend of slaving at the new Vaio (which I have named "Wolfram," the element Tungsten's original name...but that's for another time) and producing what I thought was a challenging and long, but reasonable exam for my Gen Chem students ended with me giving a study session on Sunday night, followed by several hours of tweaking, writing final questions and making the test slightly easier. Bed at 2am.
I awoke with a start early Monday morning, realizing I had neglected to attach a periodic table to each exam. Other than that, things were going to be great: I had every confidence in my students' abilities and knew they were going to demonstrate their learning awesomely for me. I arrived on campus at 10:40am, with just enough time to copy the periodic tables and grab the test, and then a series of bizarre events began to unfold.
The roller-door to the science office crashed down without explanation, yet I felt no trepidation because the admin told me that an alarm must have just been triggered in the building. "Oh well," I thought, "when I'm done copying, I have to head out to my classroom anyhow." Exams in hand, I made my way across campus around 10:50am, noticing that other doors were closed in "alarm-mode" and several security guards. "Must be a fire alarm or something," I thought, as I made my way past three Seattle Police cars positioned around the campus US Bank. Seeing a friend of mine from my younger years, we chatted while I held the bookstore door open. I made my way across campus and into the other science building, and just as I set my pile of exams down on the desk, the admin came in: "We're in lockdown. Lock your door and shut it. No one can leave."
"Wha, what?" I mumbled. Are you kidding?! Lockdown? As if giving my first exam as a college professor wasn't stressful enough on its own, THIS had to happen too? Astonished, while simultaneously smiling at life's random curve-balls, I tried to quiet my students down and press onward with the exam, not really knowing how I was going to deal with 1/3 of my students being trapped elsewhere (some, I later found, were just outside but couldn't enter).
11:20am: lockdown called off. "That was peculiarly short," I thought to myself, "how in god's name could they have searched the entire campus in 20 minutes?" The MIA students slowly started trickling in, but I could tell focus would not be their ally that day.
Two days later, nothing more has been said, essentially, about the bank robbery (at 10:40am) and the school's terribly slow and inept response. Apparently there were two "unrelated" bank robberies elsewhere in Seattle that day....hmmmmm. The robber never produced a gun, yet one of my students asked to be excused from the exam because she had "seen" him waving a gun around.
Still, I had to have a little self-examination and realize, as all of my friends and family know already, that I'm terribly cavalier with my own safety (my brother looked me in the eye very seriously before I left for Panama and said: "please be safe - don't do anything stupid"). I don't know when it started, but I rarely feel afraid or threatened, for better or for worse. Now that I'm a teacher, I need to realize that I'm responsible for a bunch of other peoples' safety as well, and this was a good eye-opener in that area.
But, WHY did it have to be on exam day? Come ON! We'll talk about the results of the test another time...
Allow me to set the scene for you:
An entire weekend of slaving at the new Vaio (which I have named "Wolfram," the element Tungsten's original name...but that's for another time) and producing what I thought was a challenging and long, but reasonable exam for my Gen Chem students ended with me giving a study session on Sunday night, followed by several hours of tweaking, writing final questions and making the test slightly easier. Bed at 2am.
I awoke with a start early Monday morning, realizing I had neglected to attach a periodic table to each exam. Other than that, things were going to be great: I had every confidence in my students' abilities and knew they were going to demonstrate their learning awesomely for me. I arrived on campus at 10:40am, with just enough time to copy the periodic tables and grab the test, and then a series of bizarre events began to unfold.
The roller-door to the science office crashed down without explanation, yet I felt no trepidation because the admin told me that an alarm must have just been triggered in the building. "Oh well," I thought, "when I'm done copying, I have to head out to my classroom anyhow." Exams in hand, I made my way across campus around 10:50am, noticing that other doors were closed in "alarm-mode" and several security guards. "Must be a fire alarm or something," I thought, as I made my way past three Seattle Police cars positioned around the campus US Bank. Seeing a friend of mine from my younger years, we chatted while I held the bookstore door open. I made my way across campus and into the other science building, and just as I set my pile of exams down on the desk, the admin came in: "We're in lockdown. Lock your door and shut it. No one can leave."
"Wha, what?" I mumbled. Are you kidding?! Lockdown? As if giving my first exam as a college professor wasn't stressful enough on its own, THIS had to happen too? Astonished, while simultaneously smiling at life's random curve-balls, I tried to quiet my students down and press onward with the exam, not really knowing how I was going to deal with 1/3 of my students being trapped elsewhere (some, I later found, were just outside but couldn't enter).
11:20am: lockdown called off. "That was peculiarly short," I thought to myself, "how in god's name could they have searched the entire campus in 20 minutes?" The MIA students slowly started trickling in, but I could tell focus would not be their ally that day.
Two days later, nothing more has been said, essentially, about the bank robbery (at 10:40am) and the school's terribly slow and inept response. Apparently there were two "unrelated" bank robberies elsewhere in Seattle that day....hmmmmm. The robber never produced a gun, yet one of my students asked to be excused from the exam because she had "seen" him waving a gun around.
Still, I had to have a little self-examination and realize, as all of my friends and family know already, that I'm terribly cavalier with my own safety (my brother looked me in the eye very seriously before I left for Panama and said: "please be safe - don't do anything stupid"). I don't know when it started, but I rarely feel afraid or threatened, for better or for worse. Now that I'm a teacher, I need to realize that I'm responsible for a bunch of other peoples' safety as well, and this was a good eye-opener in that area.
But, WHY did it have to be on exam day? Come ON! We'll talk about the results of the test another time...
1.23.2009
Made me think about the way things are, made me think about they way they could be
~My Morning Jacket (Touch Me, I'm Going to Scream Pt.2)
I can't believe I left the post about me being a complete joke as a Chemist up for so long. Suffice to say, it's been a LONG couple of weeks. There have been some funny occurrences and interesting times, but nothing near what I did on the first day of class (see below). It's hard to believe I'm essentially a third done with the quarter already. I've already learned so much these past weeks about myself, my students, chemistry and teaching that I will carry with me throughout my life - I feel so blessed.
When people ask me what I think of teaching college Chemistry classes, I tell them I never expected I would be so happy and feel such a sense of purpose in the midst of the busiest months of my life. When I worked in industry as a pharmaceutical delivery research chemist, I was motivated and interested, but nothing compared to this. Teaching is something that I'm supposed to do with my life (at least a decent portion of it), and I see and feel that now more than ever. My students make me laugh (and I return the favor, I think), and I enjoy working with them in class, lab and one-on-one immensely. Where I thought my age might be a hindrance, it has actually proved to be more fun because I joke around with them and treat them as friend, and yet they still retain some measure of respect for me. It's amazing what a smile and friendly word can mean to folks.
I was thinking on Martin Luther King, Jr day, while I was sitting in Tully's with a sugar-free caramel soy latte (my current favorite) and my new awesome Sony Vaio (boy, I'm name dropping something fierce right now) laptop planning a Physical Chemistry Lecture for the next day "how can I celebrate MLK's legacy and contribute to the new direction America is (I pray) headed?" I kept thinking about education (obviously) and how countless hours of the formative years of a youth are spent in a classroom. The teacher, I am learning, can influence, motivate and spur students on to all sorts of great, new and exciting things, but can also easily and perhaps unintentionally be a hindrance. Interestingly, in my Diversity in America class, we've been discussing multiculturalism and racism the last two weeks. I've never been faced with so many alarming and thought-provoking questions that seem so unanswerable.
I've always thought of myself as a pretty "culturally-savvy" woman, having grown up in an incredibly diverse school district, traveling all over the place, attending a church with folks from all sorts of backgrounds and cherishing learning from people about their culture, way of life and heritage. This, I sometimes think, will aide me well when I teach in the inner-city someday, because I'll be taken seriously, even though I'm as white as a tall, bulky German girl can be.
Then, last night my Prof put on "The Color of Fear" - a documentary from 1993 that placed 10 men from all different ethnic backgrounds in one room for an entire weekend to flesh out true feelings, pain, hopes, anger and disbelief. I've seen it more than once, and it always humbles me because I realize there is a large chance I'm completely ignorant to some prejudices I may espouse. It's also more than likely that I will have many students (and parents) who view me as a white girl trying to "save"people who are of minority status in the US. This poses a large problem for my teaching career and likely my whole life. I want to be in community with people of every economic status, every religion, every political view, every race and every goal. I want to be seen as an equal, not holding some sort of sceptre of power just because I'm light skinned. Sometimes I feel guilty for being a white European-American. Often, I'm ashamed and overwhelmed by the racism, oppression and power of the majority and wish I wasn't associated with it.
But, that doesn't seem fruitful or fair. Is it legitimate to say I couldn't choose my skin color? Can I still do what I feel called to do, or will something as material and earthly as flesh color stymie my dreams?
So...what's the answer?
I can't believe I left the post about me being a complete joke as a Chemist up for so long. Suffice to say, it's been a LONG couple of weeks. There have been some funny occurrences and interesting times, but nothing near what I did on the first day of class (see below). It's hard to believe I'm essentially a third done with the quarter already. I've already learned so much these past weeks about myself, my students, chemistry and teaching that I will carry with me throughout my life - I feel so blessed.
When people ask me what I think of teaching college Chemistry classes, I tell them I never expected I would be so happy and feel such a sense of purpose in the midst of the busiest months of my life. When I worked in industry as a pharmaceutical delivery research chemist, I was motivated and interested, but nothing compared to this. Teaching is something that I'm supposed to do with my life (at least a decent portion of it), and I see and feel that now more than ever. My students make me laugh (and I return the favor, I think), and I enjoy working with them in class, lab and one-on-one immensely. Where I thought my age might be a hindrance, it has actually proved to be more fun because I joke around with them and treat them as friend, and yet they still retain some measure of respect for me. It's amazing what a smile and friendly word can mean to folks.
I was thinking on Martin Luther King, Jr day, while I was sitting in Tully's with a sugar-free caramel soy latte (my current favorite) and my new awesome Sony Vaio (boy, I'm name dropping something fierce right now) laptop planning a Physical Chemistry Lecture for the next day "how can I celebrate MLK's legacy and contribute to the new direction America is (I pray) headed?" I kept thinking about education (obviously) and how countless hours of the formative years of a youth are spent in a classroom. The teacher, I am learning, can influence, motivate and spur students on to all sorts of great, new and exciting things, but can also easily and perhaps unintentionally be a hindrance. Interestingly, in my Diversity in America class, we've been discussing multiculturalism and racism the last two weeks. I've never been faced with so many alarming and thought-provoking questions that seem so unanswerable.
I've always thought of myself as a pretty "culturally-savvy" woman, having grown up in an incredibly diverse school district, traveling all over the place, attending a church with folks from all sorts of backgrounds and cherishing learning from people about their culture, way of life and heritage. This, I sometimes think, will aide me well when I teach in the inner-city someday, because I'll be taken seriously, even though I'm as white as a tall, bulky German girl can be.
Then, last night my Prof put on "The Color of Fear" - a documentary from 1993 that placed 10 men from all different ethnic backgrounds in one room for an entire weekend to flesh out true feelings, pain, hopes, anger and disbelief. I've seen it more than once, and it always humbles me because I realize there is a large chance I'm completely ignorant to some prejudices I may espouse. It's also more than likely that I will have many students (and parents) who view me as a white girl trying to "save"people who are of minority status in the US. This poses a large problem for my teaching career and likely my whole life. I want to be in community with people of every economic status, every religion, every political view, every race and every goal. I want to be seen as an equal, not holding some sort of sceptre of power just because I'm light skinned. Sometimes I feel guilty for being a white European-American. Often, I'm ashamed and overwhelmed by the racism, oppression and power of the majority and wish I wasn't associated with it.
But, that doesn't seem fruitful or fair. Is it legitimate to say I couldn't choose my skin color? Can I still do what I feel called to do, or will something as material and earthly as flesh color stymie my dreams?
So...what's the answer?
1.08.2009
We all recognize that I'm the problem here
~WAS (Ghouls, again)
Today, I had to face the reality that I made not one, but TWO rather large and embarrassing mistakes in Chemistry Lecture yesterday.
When talking about three general categories of matter (element, compound and mixture), I used a worksheet from a colleague and changed it a bit, but failed to DO the worksheet myself before class (time is of the essence recently). So, when we were going over the answers, I made the two following wrong corrections to my students' correct answers:
1) Dry Ice isn't a compound, it's an element (nitrogen)
2) Steel is an element
I know, I know...I have a Masters Degree in Polymer Materials Science and I made these two blatantly wrong statements almost back-to-back. I'm so ashamed.
Of course, I have a defense for both. I was thinking of the fact that we used Liquid Nitrogen to cool CO2 (Dry Ice) at my old job, so I had a brain fart and said it was Nitrogen. Crap. Then, I was remembering our grading key for these students' density lab saying "Steel (Fe)" for one of the unknowns. So, I just defaulted to that, forgetting that steel is, in fact, an alloy of mostly iron and commonly carbon.
I briefly entertained the sinister idea of pretending that I meant to mess them up to see if anyone would catch me, but then I realized that I have to admit the mistakes, apologize and use this as a teachable moment that I'm not perfect. I certainly never want this to happen again, which ramps the pressure for being on top of my game even more for the next nine weeks.
I'm just worried that they'll lose whatever ounce of respect they had for me when I tell them tomorrow.
Today, I had to face the reality that I made not one, but TWO rather large and embarrassing mistakes in Chemistry Lecture yesterday.
When talking about three general categories of matter (element, compound and mixture), I used a worksheet from a colleague and changed it a bit, but failed to DO the worksheet myself before class (time is of the essence recently). So, when we were going over the answers, I made the two following wrong corrections to my students' correct answers:
1) Dry Ice isn't a compound, it's an element (nitrogen)
2) Steel is an element
I know, I know...I have a Masters Degree in Polymer Materials Science and I made these two blatantly wrong statements almost back-to-back. I'm so ashamed.
Of course, I have a defense for both. I was thinking of the fact that we used Liquid Nitrogen to cool CO2 (Dry Ice) at my old job, so I had a brain fart and said it was Nitrogen. Crap. Then, I was remembering our grading key for these students' density lab saying "Steel (Fe)" for one of the unknowns. So, I just defaulted to that, forgetting that steel is, in fact, an alloy of mostly iron and commonly carbon.
I briefly entertained the sinister idea of pretending that I meant to mess them up to see if anyone would catch me, but then I realized that I have to admit the mistakes, apologize and use this as a teachable moment that I'm not perfect. I certainly never want this to happen again, which ramps the pressure for being on top of my game even more for the next nine weeks.
I'm just worried that they'll lose whatever ounce of respect they had for me when I tell them tomorrow.
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