10.23.2006

I'm nerdy in the extreme, I'm whiter than sour cream

~Weird Al (White &Nerdy)

Since I seem to have a tendency at this point in my journey to be depressing, I thought it time to share some of the more simple joys in my life with you (at least those that can be linked).

1) Weird Al finally made it to the top ten. Check out the new video from whence my title came. This man is a genius.

2) Few things or people make me laugh more than Conan O'Brien. It's a shame I'm an old foage and can't stay up that late anymore. My all-time favorite Conan clip. It's worth the 7 minutes, I assure you.

3) This cute and hysterical ad never quite made it to television, but was brought to my attention by my fabulous cousin, Chris. Prepare to wet yourself laughing.

Why am I in such a good mood? I had a fabulous day yesterday. Fall still is resisting here in Eugene, and it was beautiful and 70 yesterday with the perfect chill in the air. I went to early service at church, went on a spectacular bike ride, and then had a wonderful 4 hour meal with my second parents, John and Mariley. They were coming through Eugene on their way home to Seattle, and stopped to see me. It's strange how a simple gesture like that made my week, even my month. I love these people, and we talked forever about pretty much everything under the sun. Among the topics of discussion was our decision that the Super Bowl should be a best of 3 tournament....3 days in a row. Let's see what they're REALLY made of. In addition, all the first string would be exhausted and injured, so everyone would see some PT (playing time). A spectacular start to the week, and next weekend promises to be fun as well. Enjoy the links!

10.19.2006

He was showing his love, and that's how he hurt his hands

~Nickel Creek (The Hand Song)

Every day on my way to campus and back, I walk past a whole host of characters, some the same, some just once. The University of Oregon is quite committed to free speech and rights of all kinds, so pretty much anyone can give out flyers and talk to you about issues, which is great. Unfortunately, sometimes I just don't want to talk, so I've learned (along with the other 18,000 students) to avert eye contact, and occasionally fake a phone call. Gone are the days of SPU where I knew everyone at the booths, and walked to class with my head up, talking and smiling at everyone.

Let me introduce you to two of the regulars on the U of O campus. His name is FROG. The whole city knows him. He frequents the Saturday market, and every day I have attended the U, is waiting on 13th street by the bike shop with his shorts and waist-length white beard asking people: "have you seen the funniest joke book ever known to man?" I always say "no thanks," but according to one friend, he is homeless and is selling the books for three bucks apiece. Now, in a lot of ways, I have to give Frog props for actually being creative and trying to earn an income. But, I'm so sick of hearing his little phrase, so I usually walk down the other side of the street.

There are two older men who spend every day at the entrance to campus (not far from Frog). They, too, are well known in the city and can be seen most Saturdays at the market. These men have a different agenda, however. That is to bring the entire city of Eugene to God by holding a sign that says "JESUS LOVES YOU :)" They just sit there, and have a friend or two that comes to greet them every now and again. My favorite is an older guy who rides on campus every day with knee-length yellow socks and his whole bike outfit...today, he had his helmet covered in yellow plastic because it was raining. Every day I walk by them, and every day I wish they would realize that for 99% of these college students (or more), they aren't making a twit of difference. As a believer in Christ, I hate to be so cynical. But, the fact is that I've learned you can tell people about God and that he loves them, but until they experience something completely different, are forced to face their imperfections (dare I say sins?), or see Christians acting in a loving, merciful and contrary manner to the world in general, no one will get through. One day, these men must have been feeling a little more lucky, and were shouting a sermon-like tirade about hell and the eternal separation for God-haters. Wonderful, I thought, now whoever might have given them an audience thinks they are myopic, judgmental freaks. I have made my share of awful, judgmental and hurtful remarks throughout my growing up years, that I thought were for the good of the gospel, only to fear I might have turned people away. People need to be shown love, care and acceptance by Christians on behalf of the Christ they desire to follow...not have a sign pushed in their face and phrases about the damnation of hell rammed down their throats.

That is why today was especially interesting, and equally saddening. The men were out again with their signs, but this time, were opposed only a yard of two away by some guys holding a sign that read: "DENY JESUS: religion incites hatred and starts wars." My first reaction was to feel hurt by this comment, and also to chuckle at how this stalemate of signs began. Do the two parties talk to one another, or just stare in blind hatred?

Over the last hour or so since I returned to my apartment, I've really been mulling this all over. First, of course, the men with the DENY JESUS sign failed to realize that Jesus is not the head of every religion, and it would be ludicrous to say that Christianity is the only religion whose people make frequent mistakes and violent moves. But even so, saying that religion is what causes hatred and war in the world sets me aback. Certainly, people of so called "faith" throughout the history of the world have been at the helm of atrocious and scarring acts that do nothing but make people question what kind of god they serve. The Christian Crusades and Islamic "holy wars" still baffle me every day. Conversely, as you know, there do exist religions and Christian denominations which do little but preach pacifism and mercy. So, my main reaction to the sign is this:

We are all hopelessly fucked up. That's the simple truth. Religion or no, each person is unbelievably fallible whether they like to admit it or not. There certainly are those who use and have used their religion to justify acts of hatred, violence and intolerance. However, more often than not, I have learned that the wars, terrorist acts, violence and hatred that seems to come from people following a certain deity truly come from the inside of the flawed human being who is so overcome with their own wellbeing, opinion and oftentimes national pride that they have lost sight completely of what their "religion" professes and encourages. It is not Christians fighting with Islamic people in the middle east, it is Americans looking out for number one in a region they desire to exploit and control. If I may be so bold (and I may, it's my blog afterall), I would wager that even if every single breathing human on this earth were "Christians" as the majority of Christians live today, we'd have equal amounts of wars, violence, lies, betrayal and hatred worldwide. Why? We're all messed up and even as a "Christian" nation, there is so much to be learned about the Jesus who was killed for you and me, who hung out with the prostitutes and thieves, and who wanted his followers to show love in everyday settings to all people; being different, but never using their affiliations to put down, judge or hurt another who is loved by God.

I've been reading the Gospels lately, and just read this last night, which sums up my claim:
"[Jesus said] 'What comes out of a man is what makes him unclean. For from within, out of men's hearts, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, greed, malice, deceit, lewdness, envy, slander, arrogance and folly.'" - Mark 7:20-23

Stop putting the wars and violence we see every day on "religions." Have some balls and realize it is the fault of the people that are taking life from their fellow humans.

10.10.2006

a little toooooo ironic...yes I really do think

~the most annoying song ever
(and, for completeness, my best friend Carrie says that nothing in that song is ironic, in the literary definition of the word)

I've been worrying lately that I have misused the word "irony" all my life. So, I looked it up tonight to set myself straight:

Irony - noun
1. the use of words to convey a meaning that is the opposite of its literal meaning: the irony of her reply, “How nice!” when I said I had to work all weekend.
2. an outcome of events contrary to what was, or might have been, expected.

The latter is what I usually mean when I say it. I think I use "ironic" in the rightful place of "coincidental" oftentimes as well. So, never fear, English majors!! I am not butchering the language as badly as I could have. Although, commas always get me and always will. Nothing I can do about that.

Therefore, it is quite coincidental (and perhaps also ironic) that the two baseball teams I am a closet fan of could (hopefully) meet in the world series. I guess it's true, now that I'm away from Seattle, that I can like any team I want. But, I still have a place in my heart for Edgar and those Mariners. Hopefully they'll stop sucking really soon. But, I digress. So, these two teams, you might be wondering, are the Oakland A's and the St. Louis Cardinals. Now, I have been an A's fan for sometime, and more recently have become a Cardinals fan. There is a reason for this, and his name is Mark Mulder. I know, I know, I'm lame. But, he's a great pitcher (uh, when he's healthy) and quite handsome, I'm not going to lie.

I first eyed him back in the 2000 playoffs, and quickly backstabbed my hometown AL West team for their arch-rival. Of course, I still rooted for the Mariners in games where the two met. Actually, after the initial crush, I started to realize that the team is quite amazing. What they have done with a small payroll is nothing short of astounding. If you're interested, I suggest you read "Moneyball" (I own it, and it ROCKS). So, when Mark was dished to St. Louis, mostly because I don't have any National League allegances, I decided to follow them a bit. Low and behold (ironically) they are a darn good team (we'll let it slide that they almost blew the biggest division lead in history this year)! Too bad Mulder keeps getting injured and can't pitch in the playoffs this year.

So there we have it. Irony abounds, as I love saying. Especially because I now have a TV that gets 3 channels (hand-me-down), which is great for watching LOST and The Office, but of course, I don't get FOX, so I can't watch any of the series. Perhaps I'll need to take to bars for the sake of baseball. The A's lost their fist ALCS game tonight, and the Cardinals play tomorrow. Do it for Mulder!

**In other news, for you who don't care about baseball: the creepy old guy from Ohio that hit on me at church (see my post"Sending out an SOS") called me last Sunday. Didn't answer, and as such, have the funniest, weirdest message EVER. I was going to post the entirety of the text, but I thought that might be slightly mean. Thank God for caller ID.

10.06.2006

This strange plan in random at best

~Built to Spill ("Strange")

What an odd year it has been. My senior year at SPU was a rollercoaster of really awesome and happy times and a couple not so happy ones. It was, however, my favorite year of college, mostly because I finally learned to strike a balance between working hard and playing hard, instead of just forgetting the latter. There was, however, this tiny little issue of what to do after college that every senior avoids like the plague. Being completely in denial that my undergraduate career was almost over, I decided not to think about it. I find that often, when I let go of my control of every little detail that things turn out well, so that was my semi-unconscious decision.

Fast-forward to late February, when the deadlines for Seattle U's MIT program was the following week and U of O's polymer program was two weeks away. On quite a whim, I went for the polymer program because I figured I'd be done in a year and I thought it would be cool to learn some new chemistry. I packed my bags two weeks after graduation, having absolutely NO clue what would transpire in the following 12 months, but confident that "everything would come out alright" as it always does. I found a place to live quickly (too quickly, in retrospect), started classes and immediately starting wondering if I'd made the right choice.

Things definitely have not gone how I thought and hoped thus far. I'm growing increasingly annoyed with where I live, I'm really lacking in motivation (although this week I've made huge steps in the right direction), I didn't get an internship in Eugene, I'm taking a Biochem class and I made a slightly silly financial "investment" (we'll call it) to get myself a job, which hasn't materialized yet, and I feel alone when I walk through crowds of students every day.
This sounds depressing, and at times, I admit, it is (although I find some of the above hysterical). As far as I can tell, I am a happy person who tries to stay positive, yet realistic. Yet, these last few months have tested me in ways I wasn't anticipating. However, I have hope that things will start to look up.

What I'm realizing is this: I need love. Not romantic love, but love from friends and family that says we'll get through this, I'm here for you and care about you. I don't just need people. There are plenty of people in Eugene, but I still feel alone because I don't have connection with most of them. I have found a really cool church, but because I'm leaving so soon I feel like it's not worth getting really involved. Why am I leaving, you ask? Well, I finally recieved an internship offer in Bend with a pharmaceutical company starting in January, which is exciting but quite scary! I definitely got shafted in the pay department, but what I'm most scared of is being by myself again. The people at the job seem great (and young!), but who knows what will happen?

So, what's the lesson from all this rambling? Maybe nothing. But, I guess I'm realizing that I don't want to spend life on the sidelines. I want to experience things with friends, learn new hobbies and enjoy life, but there is the reality that right now I'm away from the comfort zone I became all too familiar with, and that comes with a price. But, a good price. I'm learning a lot about myself, and this week began to really read the Bible and exercise daily for the first time in WAY too long. It could be the placebo effect, but I feel a lot better this week than I have in months. God has a great way of standing with me silently, waiting for me to choose to seek him, and whenever I do, he finds some way to bless me. Hopefully these new, unexpected changes that will take place in a few months will continue me on the path to self-discovery and maturity, and the realization that one bad day, week, or month shouldn't send me into a tailspin. I just have to look ahead with a excitement and a positive attitude and pray that I can makes wise choices as they arise, without regrets. I've also made a list of things I want to do, and intend to start crossing things off soon.

Because I'm into Built to Spill right now, here's another song I find fitting:
haven't had a half a hand in half of what i am
haven't heard of half the things that happened in the past
haven't givin half the time to half the people
and half the things i planned
you don't have to be so cruel, cause all i do is a little less than what i can
happiness'll only happen when it can
~Happiness

9.28.2006

...the sun doesn't go down...it's just an illusion caused by the world spinning 'round

~The Flaming Lips (Do you realize?)

In a very fitting follow-up to my previous post about the joys and priviledges of learning, my mini-vacation with my parents this weekend produced some interesting questions. I met them at the Oregon Coast (same place we go every year, but I'm not complaining) and spent two days eating good food, hanging out and experiencing the absolute best weather I've ever seen on the coast (75 and no rain!). It was nice to see the parents, and Alan came to visit me this month, too, so that's been nice.

I've always been a big asker of questions, which my dad loves, so I guess I've been into learning since I was a little girl. However, when I was younger, it was probably more to the tune of, "why can't I go to my friend's house???" or "why can't I have a car?!?!"

This weekend produced many topics of discussion of varying importance:
1) What's the difference between sloe gin and gin?
2) What's up with body hair (specifically why do dudes bald and have facial hair, and why does gray hair change texture as well as color) and how can evolution explain it?
3) Why do we see red/orange at sunset? (I thought I knew the answer, but my dad shut me down while I was trying to explain it to mom)
4) Why do I eat about 4-times as much with my family than I do normally?

We're going to let #4 slide because I feel fat enough, and #1 is an easy answer:
1) gin: a neutral spirit from grain, flavored with juniper berries, 120 proof.
sloe gin: a wild cherry flavored neutral spirit base, 42-60 proof.

2) My research isn't through, but check out these links to learn more.
http://www.economist.com/science/displayStory.cfm?story_id=2281888
http://www.creationresearch.org/crsq/articles/40/40_4/Bergman.htm
Basically, it seems that if you believe we evolved from apes, the little hair we have in comparison is just "leftovers" and doesn't really have much of a purpose since most humans live in average to warm climates. However, most of us know that eyelashes, eyebrows, nose and ear hair are there to protect openings. I also found that some biologists believe that the shedding of hair was due to parasites. The less hair you have, the less opportunity for fleas and ticks to nest. Along with this, since men and women would then look for mates that were hairless (but men care more about looks), women have less hair because their mates were more picky. I'm not so sure I buy that, but it's an interesting thought.
As for grey hair, in the follicle, there are melanin cells, which give our hair its color. As we age, these melanin cells gradually die out, causing a transition to white, silver or grey hair. The texture I couldn't find anything specific on, however, I speculate that something in the lack of melanin might affect the texture as well.

3) The sunset. So beautiful. Ever notice that it's more pretty in polluted places like LA? This is because there is more "stuff" in the air (dirt, pollutants, etc). The reason the colors change towards nightfall is because there is more atmosphere (dirt, water, etc) between you and the sun, so the different wavelengths of light (the colors of the rainbow) are scattered, especially the blues and greens, allowing a higher relative amount of reds and oranges to reach your eye.
http://www.sciencemadesimple.com/sky_blue.html

Interesting, huh? I think this kind of post should happen more often. See why I want to be a teacher? I love practical science.

9.20.2006

I don't know where the sunbeams end and the starlight begins - it's all a mystery

~The Flaming Lips ("fight test")

It has officially come to pass. The ninth planet of so many elementary and middle school lessons has officially been demoted to mere "rock status." It's actually called a "dwarf planet" now, along with two others, for completeness. Now, I'll admit, I've never been really attached to Pluto...my favorite has always been Saturn, which I can't really give any coherent reason for. But, it seems to me an abomination that you can just rescind planetdom!! Sure, I understand that scientists figured they needed to tighten up the criteria as more of the solar system is discovered and explored, but I mean THINK people....now the acronym MVEMJSUNP doesn't even work! What's this world coming to? It's almost like making a class harder because too many kids are getting A's!

I actually don't care as much as it sounds. Still, it is kind of weird and surreal that something I learned in school will now not be learned any longer by modern students. a) it makes me feel old, b) it makes me consider what else I have learned in the past 17 years that might be changed or omitted from curriculum in the future.

That, my friends, is the value of learning and research. This is why I'm a scientist! How exciting it is to be on the cutting edge of the ever-changing and growing body of knowledge! Sure, business classes help you deal with the economics of life, and someone's got to do your taxes, but, science is so much better. I don't think I fully realized how amazing it is to know, learn and discover how little I know until Junior year of college. I had always "liked" school, but I think that was more due to the fact that I was good at it, versus really enjoying having knowledge transferred to me.

Junior year was the age of modern physics and my enlightenment as the result of a required philosophy class. I struggled through specific relativity and the next quarter came to the harsh, challenging and exciting realization that I could indeed believe in evolution and STILL call myself a Christian. Those were some difficult months for me academically, spiritually and mentally. Kudos to school, my patient professors, and the opportunity to make one's head hurt from conflicting viewpoints and seemingly impossibly scientific theories. I have a very few friends with whom I share this love of science and learning. My friend Jason checked out several books on fractals (math stuff I don't get) last summer for, as he called it, "pleasure reading." My other friend Katie is a research psychologist, but respects, understands and is intrigued by the synergy of all science. I have had countless conversations with these two close friends about the beauty of science, the extreme privilege of all schooling, and the travesty of complaining and taking university for granted. Ever heard the following phrase? Professor, I just need to know what I need to know for the test. Pure sacrilege. What's worse is when you hear a prof tell you "you won't need to know this on a test, so you don't care." YES, I DO!

As I prepare to begin my last two graduate chemistry classes on Monday, I look back on the last four-plus years of education at SPU and can say the following: 1) I have learned a lot more than I thought I ever could, 2) I'm only at the tip of the iceberg, 3) I have broadened my horizons past chemistry and physics to psychology, biochemistry, biology, and interests in many other subjects as well, 4) I think I've had the best professors anyone could ask for, 5) I forget relativity.

I wish I didn't, especially because I was so intrigued by it. But, truth is, Schrodinger and statistical mechanics overpowered my grey matter that year, and I badly want to relearn it. I hope that, as I transition from hard-core academia to industry and someday teaching, that I will always take the time to review what I have learned and find new things to read and ask questions about in all areas. To me, that is what this life is about: learning the beauty and intricacies of this world, realizing how little we still know after hundreds of years of research, understanding explanations for everyday processes we take for granted, and most of all sharing this knowledge with others. The more I learn, the more in awe I am of God and his awesome creation. What a blessing it is to learn, know and discuss. May we never cease.

9.06.2006

Short people got no reason to live

~Randy Newman (Although Nickel Creek did it at their show...so good)

Usually, I feel that shorter people have a one-up on me. Sure, I can reach things on the top shelf of the grocery store (and often help others out), and I can reach my top cabinets in my kitchen. But, by and large, most tall people will tell you, it's no day at the beach. Buying clothes and size 12 shoes is a pain, but gradually getting better, car choices are severely diminished because of what the person fits in (I wanted an Accord...but my knees hit the wheel!), and in general, the "amazon woman" comments and incessant stares (especially in foreign countries) get REALLY old. If I had a penny for every time I'd heard the ol' "wow...you're SO tall" phrase...well, I'd be able to help myself to an evening movie, at least. Thanks so much, I think everytime, I hadn't realized this until you so eloquently pointed it out!


Point is, being tall can be a blessing and a curse, especially when you're a female and guys seem to be a little scared of your 6' 3" stature. Whatever. What the average world doesn't get is that I'm used to it, and don't notice height differences until pointed out to me! Anyhow, when I saw this article today, I thought it fitting and largely ironic. Ironic because I was informed this morning that I in fact did NOT get the Chemsitry internship I've been planning on for 5 weeks. They liked me, but some internal changes caused them to decide not to hire me...and apparently not tell me. So, now I begin the job hunt. There isn't much in Eugene that I'm interested in or qualified for. It makes me wish I'd spent more time in food service or retail rather than babysitting in high school and college.


I've got a couple options, one of them being a restaurant bartender, which I think would be rad. That call goes out tomorrow... Anyhow, if it's true that tall people are higher paid, maybe I'll make more than $7.50 and hour. Ouch, a B.S. in Chemistry and I'm hoping for a retail job. Oh, how the tides have changed in the last week. Surprisingly, I'm less anxious and stressed than I figured I'd be after my entire 2-year plan of getting two Masters degrees has all but exploded. There are options. Life is long. I do, however, need to make some friends in Eugene.